every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
