if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
