She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
