Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
