Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
