i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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