seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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