You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
