I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I faked an abortion last night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
