Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
