He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
