he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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