just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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