One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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