Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
