not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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