but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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