YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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