ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
