my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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