Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
