I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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