Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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