Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
