oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
