fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
