You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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