dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
