Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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