She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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