apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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