I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
