I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
