Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
