she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
