...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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