If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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