remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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