So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
