it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
