you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
