i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
