Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
