Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
