Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
