I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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