How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
