If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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