so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
