it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
