You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
