What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
