We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
