Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
